If you were looking for marriage advice, would you ask someone single or someone who is already married?  The obvious choice would be someone married.  But, God had something different in mind.  The Holy Spirit inspired Paul, a single missionary, to instruct the church at Corinth regarding marriage.  

This might have been difficult for the audience to take in, but the Word of God is divinely inspired.  So, we know that the message is coming directly from God, with Paul just being the vessel used.  This section on marriage is found in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9.

(vs. 1,2)  Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

• The church wrote to Paul to address the issue of marriage.  To understand why, please read 1 Corinthians 5.  Here, Paul delves into one of the many sins running rampant within the church - fornication.  Since sexual immorality was a major problem in the church, a question may have arisen on whether celibacy was the only way to overcome this temptation, even among those who were already married.  Paul is answering that question in the opening 2 verses of 1 Corinthians 7.

• Paul emphasized that a man and woman should not have relations outside of the institute of marriage.  If a person wants to avoid the sin of fornication, they should be married and only engage in such activities with their spouses.  

• Marriage was first instituted by God.  It is not immoral to be married or engage in activities with your spouse like the Corinthian church believed.  The marriage relationship is sanctioned by God.  It is the relationships outside of marriage that lead to sin, not marriage itself. 

(vs. 3) Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

• Both the husband and the wife have to provide benevolence or affection to one another.  Both parties in the marriage require this.  A spouse is supposed to provide those needs to the other.  This provision is for all spouses regardless of their attitude or behavior to one another.  That means, even if one spouse is acting badly, the other spouse is still required to provide affection.  

• We all know Ephesians 5:33 which calls for wives to respect their husbands and husbands to love their wives.  The same concept applies.  Even if the partner is not behaving the way they are supposed to, they are to be given the affection that is due to them simply because they are the husband or wife of a Christian spouse.  It is a God-given responsibility of a spouse to do so.   

(vs. 4-6) The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.

• The husband and the wife both have obligations to each other.  Their bodies belong to one another.  They do not have the right to deprive or defraud their spouses of something they need, whether that is affection or intimacy.  The only time deprivation or abstinence is deemed okay is if both spouses agree and if that time is given for fasting and prayer (i.e. to draw closer to God).  

• Paul is addressing the question of celibacy within the confines of marriage as well as the consequences of doing so.  God has not deemed that deprivation is okay in marriage.  The only time it should be allowed is if you are using that time to draw closer to God.  The consequence of doing so is that it leads to temptation.  It can cause people to look elsewhere for fulfillment and eventually destroy the marriage.  

• This doesn’t mean that all infidelity is the consequence of such action.  But, there is no need to give the devil more ammunition to work against us.  

(vs. 7-9) For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.  But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

• Paul was a single man and did wish that others could be unmarried like himself.  He understood the benefits of remaining unmarried and being in the Lord’s service.  But he does understand that while singleness suited him, it doesn’t suit everyone.  Both being single and being married are gifts from God.

• While this is true, it does not give an individual the right to fall into the trap of sexual immorality.  Those who are single should be celibate and those who are married should remain faithful to their spouses.  Paul tells the believers that marriage is a legitimate refuge from the pressures of fornication.  If a person cannot contain themselves, they should get married rather than burn in their sin.  

What does this mean for us?

The biggest take away here is that being either married or single is a gift from God.  Not all people are called to be single like Paul was.  In fact, most people are not called to be single.  God says that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).  As such, to avoid falling into sin, a person should be married.  But when they are married, the spouses belong to each other and must fulfill the needs of the other in whatever capacity that is.  

One of Satan’s greatest lies is to make relationships outside of marriage seem sweet, but that is not what God intended.  God has one person made specifically for each of us that is to be our other half.  We should remain celibate until God reveals that person to us and remain ever-faithful to that one spouse.