Colossians 2:13-15 - And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it.
Colossians 3:12-19 - Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
Since marriage is a model of Christ and the church, this gives marriage a solid basis in grace, because Christ obtained and sustains His bride by grace alone
Colossians 2:13,14 - God condemned my sin in Christ’s flesh
Colossians 3:12, 13 - Forgive as you have been forgiven
Bear with as He bears with you
As the Lord counts you righteous in Christ, though you are not righteous in actual behavior and attitude, so count your spouse righteous in Christ, though he or she is not righteous.
The ideal aim in marriage: 2 people humbling themselves and seeking to change in godly ways that please their spouses and meet their physical and emotional needs - to please them in every good way
CHAPTER 4
Colossians 3:12-19 - Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
Colossians 3:12
Paul has 3 descriptors for us
(1) Chosen -
Romans 8:33 - Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.
Before the foundation of the world, God chose us in Christ
(2) Holy/Set apart for God -
1 Peter 2:9 - But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light
He wants us to be His holy people, to come out of the world, and not be common or unclean anymore
(3) Loved/Beloved -
Romans 5:8 - But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
He is for us, not against us
3 inward conditions that lead to 3 outward demeanors
(1) Bowels of mercy & compassionate hearts lead to kindness
Treat each other with tender mercy and kindness
(2) Lowliness & humility leads to meekness
The meek count others above themselves and serve them
(3) Patience & long-suffering leads to forbearance and forgiveness
James 1:19 - patience, slow to anger, quick to listen, slow to speak
Become long-suffering people and endure each other
Forbear (1 Corinthians 13:7,8)
When we forgive, we treat people better than they deserve.
Freely giving good for evil
Matthew 5:44 - But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
Luke 6:27 - But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
1 Corinthians 4:12 - And we labor, working with our own hands. Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure;
1 Thessalonians 5:15 - See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.
CHAPTER 5
Ephesians 5:21-33 - submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Marriage is based on grace. Christ pursues His bride by grace, obtains her for His own by grace, sustains her by grace, and will perfect her for Himself by grace.
Grace empowers husbands and wives to keep their covenant by means of forgiveness and forbearance
Luke 6:27-29, 35, 36 - (27-29)“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. (35,36) But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.
Ephesians 5:25-27
(1) The husband is NOT Christ
The husband is not omnipotent like Christ, not all-wise like Christ or perfect like Christ
(2) Conformity to Christ, not to the husband
The desire for the wife is measured by God’s standard of holiness, not our standard of personal preferences
(3) Dying for the wife
Self-denying nature with compassion
Ephesians 5:22
The wife’s allegiance is first to Christ, not first to her husband
Submit to Christ absolutely
Wives are also sisters in Christ
Galatians 6:1 - Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
Mathew 18:15 - “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
1 Peter 3:1 - Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
Don’t nag
Don’t badger him
Matthew 10:16 - Be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove
1 Peter 3:2 - Win your husband by your “respectful and pure conduct”
Wives win their husbands mainly by their lives of sacrificial love, and husbands win their wives mainly by their lives of sacrificial love
