CHAPTER 6

Ephesians 5:21-33 - submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

• The husband is called to lead like Christ, who is the Lion of Judah (Revelation 5:5) and the Lamb of God (Revelation 5:6) 

  • Lionhearted & lamblike

  • Strong & meek

  • Tough & tender

  • Aggressive & Responsive

  • Bold & broken-hearted 

• The marriage union is a mystery because its deepest meaning was concealed by God during the Old Testament, but now being revealed to the church

• Ephesians 5:28-30

  • Christ nourishes and cherishes the church because we are members of His body.  Husbands nourish and cherish their wives “as their own bodies”

• Ephesians 5:22-25

Ephesians 5:18-21 - And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

• Husbands and wives who are filled with the Holy Spirit serve one another 

• They humble themselves and lift each other up

• They submit their desires for the needs of the other

• Headship: divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home

• Submission: divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts 

CHAPTER 7

Ephesians 5:21-33 - submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

• A husband’s leadership expresses itself in taking the lead in seeing to it that the family is protected and provided

• When the ground of the wife’s submission is expressed as the headship of the husband, it is clear that headship involves the kind of leadership that a woman can affirm and honor

• When Paul calls a husband to be the head of his wife by loving like Christ when he leads, he means: Protect her at all costs

  • Nourish: caring provider sees to it that the needs of his wife and children are met 

• The life of the family hangs on protection and provision

• Husbands need to protect against physical and spiritual threats to the life of the family

• Husband’s leadership

  • 1) physical provision - food and shelter

  • 2) spiritual provision - word of God and spiritual guidance, instruction, and encouragement

  • 3) physical protection - intruders, natural disasters, disease

  • 4) spiritual protection - prayer, warnings, keeping certain influences out of the home

• Encouragement for husbands: leadership is hard, but God is with you

  • Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

  • Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,
    Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

•  Caution to women:

  • You cannot demand that your husband take leadership

  • Instead: pray for him and express appreciation and honor for the ways he is leading

• (1) leadership in spiritual provision

  • Family prayer and Bible reading 

  • Going to church

  • Discussing spiritual and moral issues

• (2) leadership in physical provision

  • Primary responsibility to put bread on the table

• (3) leadership in spiritual protection

  • Pray for your family every day

  • Set standards for the family

  • Take the lead in reconciliation

• (4) leadership in physical protection

  • Go up against the enemy first 

CHAPTER 8

1 Peter 3:1-6 - Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

• Submit to and serve each other 

  • Holy women put their hope in the promises of God (Proverbs 31:25)

  • She focuses her attention on the power and love of God

• The pressure of hope in God drives out fear.  They entrust their souls to God and triumph over fear

• Don’t focus your attention and effort on your outer appearance, but focus on the beauty within

• Humble submission to her husband’s leadership 

• What submission is not (1 Peter 3:1-6):

  • (1) submission doesn’t mean agreeing with everything your husband says

  • (2) submission doesn’t mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar 

  • (3) submission doesn’t mean avoiding every effort to change a husband 

  • (4) submission doesn’t mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ

  • (5) submission doesn’t mean that a wife gets her personal, spiritual strength primarily through her husband 

  • (6) submission doesn’t mean that a wife is to act out of fear 

• What submission is:

  • Disposition to follow a husband’s authority

  • Inclination to yield to his leadership

  • Does not follow a husband into sin